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November 25th, 2006

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eh?
things have been kind of hectic lately. i finally decided to stop being scared and moved in with aruka. and i rather spontaneously told him i wanted to get married. i didn't intend for it to come out in that time and place but...that's not important. i had hoped that if/when i ever did such a thing, it would be perfectly planned and romantic. but since when do i plan things well? XD like i said, it's not important how we discussed it, just that we did. at this point, anyway, there are no solid plans...because i feel like i still have so much to work out with michael and judy. aruka and i are going to try to visit LA soon...i really really hope judy won't be evil about it. i want to see my son. i want him and aruka to meet. i don't want to live in two separate worlds anymore, because all of these people are part of my life.

aruka also wants me to meet his parents. to be honest, i'm nervous, because i'm afraid they'll be very upset with him and maybe say or do something hurtful to him. i don't particularly care what they think about ME...that pretty much goes without saying. but i don't want to be the cause of pain for aruka.

some days it still feels so surreal. i never imagined i'd be in a serious relationship again, much less get married again. to a man. i'm not sure my brain can fully absorb it. XD but wow, yeah, i am obscenely in love.

October 18th, 2006

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the ex-wife makes me crazy. really. she still hates me, it seems. and i feel really bad that aruka had to witness my meltdown. he really is so good to me. i can't wait to give him his birthday present.

October 5th, 2006

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metallica
life is pretty good. i've had some interesting conversations with aruka about theoretical futures for our relationship. i don't know how serious he is about any of this, at least right now, but maybe someday. right now...i'm not in a position to want to get into another serious commitment. it feels as though we're already completely bonded to each other...but i'm still wary of making any outwardly obvious arrangements. i've been burned too recently. it's not like either of us is going anywhere anytime soon.

strangest thing, though...yasu. i went to hang out with him and he was...somehow ended up flirting, asking if i wanted him to take advantage of me or something. that surprised me, even if he was just kidding around, and i brought up the fact that i am with aruka alone. and yasu gave me some crap about it, saying things like it's not like we're getting married. he seemed pretty unhappy about things. at one point he admitted he was jealous...but couldn't say exactly in what way. it was really awkward, and i ended up leaving. and it also made me paranoid about things with aruka briefly, but there was really no reason for that.

i didn't tell aruka about it...he already has thought that hiro was like, in love with me or something. he doesn't need a reason to have a problem with yasu. i haven't talked to yasu since, so i don't know where we stand at the moment. :/

September 24th, 2006

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got into a car accident. not my fault. fuckin' a. ~_~

aruka thinks i need to see a doctor...and he's basically making me see his doctor because he's worried about my health. and screwing me to death. XD

aruka's birthday is in...about a month and a week, give or take. i have an idea what i want to get him, but i need to find what i want, specifically. i hope it goes over well.

edit: :o i found the perfect gift. it's expensive, but definitely worth it.

September 18th, 2006

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i think hitting johan finally knocked a few screws loose. o_0 i think from now on, people will know better than to try to make us be around each other. apparently johan actually hates me enough to try to kill me. or at least injure me. but he ended up hurting yasu in the process. >_< so yeah, i had to tie him up and got some medics to come help yasu. i feel so fucking bad about that...i can't believe yasu isn't mad at me for getting him hurt.

but now johan thinks he's some chick named anna. what the fuck.

well, i'm trying to forget about that now and just deal with it. but a constant reminder of anna is the fact that now aruka is even more over-worked due to not having johan as an assistant. god damn.

in better news, though...i things continue to get better with aruka...i'm going to end up dying during sex. XD sigh.

August 21st, 2006

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eh?
best...weekend...ever. <3

August 17th, 2006

heh.

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eh?
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'd be like heaven to touch. I wanna
hold you so much. At long last love has
arrived. And I thank God I'm alive. You're
just too good to be true. Can't take my
eyes off yoy.

Pardon the way that I stare. There's nothing
else to compare. The sight of you leaves me
weak. There are no words left to speak.
But if you feel like I feel. Please let me know
that it's real. You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.

I need you baby, and if it's quite all right,
I need you baby to warm a lonely night. I love
you baby. Trust in me when I say: Oh pretty
baby, don't bring me down I pray. Oh pretty
baby, now that I found you, stay. And let me
love you, oh baby let me love you, oh baby....

You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'd be like heaven to touch. I wanna
hold you so much. At long last love has
arrived. And I thank God I'm alive. You're
just too good to be true. Can't take my
eyes off you.

I need you baby, and if it's quite all right,
I need you baby to warm a lonely night. I love
you baby. Trust in me when I say: Oh pretty
baby, don't bring me down I pray. Oh pretty
baby, now that I found you, stay. And let me
love you, oh baby let me love you, oh baby....

I need you baby, and if it's quite all right,
I need you baby to warm a lonely night. I love
you baby. Trust in me when I say: Oh pretty
baby, don't bring me down I pray. Oh pretty
baby, now that I found you, stay. And let me
love you, oh baby let me love you, oh baby....

August 12th, 2006

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so. it would seem that i have...a boyfriend? o_0 it's a good thing, absolutely. but wtf mate. i don't even know how i'm supposed to SAY that to people.

mika is so going to make fun of me. XD

August 10th, 2006

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sin
somehow, i thought this might be higher. XD damn my healthy childhood.

You have a 34% chance of going postal!

The chances of a killing spree in your future are pretty low. But discuss any problems you have with a therapist. Or your local barman. Talking about your feelings is very important... well, and emasculating, but let's not talk about that.

How Likely Are You to Go Postal?
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August 9th, 2006

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metallica
oi oi, mika-san, i haven't seen you in a while. we likely have some catching up to do. ^_^
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